Evil Plan Generator

Congratulations on being the creator of a new Evil Plan (tm)!

Your objective is simple: World Domination

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Love (Yes, it works)

Stage One:
To begin your plan, you must first Seduce a Chosen One. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this Evil Genius? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in Classic Black?

Stage Two:
Next, you will Steal United Nations. This will cause countless hordes of Supernatural Creatures to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with Sheer dementedness, as lesser men whisper your name in terror.

Stage Three:
Finally, you will Reveal to the World your Great Supernatural Forces, bringing about an End to Sanity. This will all be done from a Island of Mu, an excellent choice if we might say. These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god.

Trust us, it'll all come together in the end.

2012

Enjoy :)

Damn smoking laws

None of that 'Sis'-sy Stuff

Sarah sent this to me... Thought I'd share...


Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of True Friendship.

You WON'T see  cutesy little smiley faces on this card - Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad, I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!
2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you're scared, we will high tail it out of here..
5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much w orse  it could be until you  quit whining, ya big baby!!!!
6. When you are confused, I will use little words.
7. When you are sick, Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall, I'll pick you up and dust you off -- After I laugh my rear off!!
9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end.

'Why?' you may ask  -- because you are my FRIEND!

***********************
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only YOU can feel the true warmth.

**********************

Try sending this to 10 of your closest friends, including the person who sent this to you ...

Then, get depressed 'cause you can only think of 4!

Superuseless Superpowers

Ok, those are funny :)

Superuseless Superpowers

Ok, those are funny :)

If programming languages were religions...

Fun read. I made it quite a way through (not all the way) the comments too...

I couldn't resist ;)

Telemarketers

Thanks to my dad for finding this. I hate telemarketers.

Burning Calories

I know some of you are working on burning calories, so I found this chart for you :)

New York to Paris

My niece posted this. Step 24 is kinda funny.

JOKE: Confessional

Thanks to Sarah for posting this joke:

A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work.When the husband come home unexpetedly one afternoon,she shoves the lover in the closet, not knowing that her 9-year-old son has been in the closet watching them.
The little boy says, "dark in here."
The man says, "yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball. Want to buy it?"
Man: "No thank's."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "Okay. How much."
Boy: "$250."

A few weeks later, it once again happens that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Sure is dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "Okay.How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "$750? Okay. Fine."

A few days later the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says, "You won't believe it, Dad-I got a thousand bucks!"
The father says, "That's terrible, to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those 2 things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

In the confessional booth the boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."